Proverbs 18:21
The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.
This proverb is so revealing. Firstly it lets us know that our words have consequences. We can raise someone to faith, courage and hope with our words. We can also quench a spark, bring division, and sentence one another to misery with our words.
One night my husband started a game with my kids. He called one of them a name. It was a ridiculous name- “finger head.” My little boy responded back “toe eyeball!” On and on they went, calling each other silly non-sensical names and giggling at each one.
When they were through I pulled my husband aside and asked him- “why did you do that?” thinking how dare he teach my children to call each other names. His answer surprised me “so they can learn to laugh off names. They will be called all sorts of things as they grow up. They need to know to laugh it off so it won’t stick.”
Stick.
That reminds of something I’ve heard before.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.
Many people despise this phrase. Iʻve heard long speeches condemning this phrase. They condemn the “sticks and stones” phrase for one reason only- they know that words affect us. But the whole purpose of this phrase is completely missed.
We will continually be bombarded by words throughout our life. Words of life, and words of death, written, spoken, sung and screamed. The sticks and stones mantra is there to give us the power of rejection. We can choose to take those words in and believe them, or we can choose to reject those words and hold to truth.
Sticks and stones is a childrenʻs epithet to empower them to reject lies, falsehoods, name calling, and the poison of words of death. And not only reject them, but choose to not take offense. Y
our child will be called names, and they will be told lies. Empower them with this- “I reject your names, I reject your lies, and I will not carry the offense. I will forgive you, and I will cling to what is true. Your words are death, and I will bury them here and now.”
Iʻm not saying we need to resurrect the phrase, but we need to grab hold of this important fact- some words are not to be held onto. Sometimes we must bury them and leave no gravestone to return to.
The only way to truly bury hurtful words spoken about or to us is to forgive. Forgiveness can be seamless or seemingly impossible, but it is a necessity that must be practiced throughout life.
I hope you find the strength to forgive those who have spoken words of death to you. I hope you hold tight to the truths that embolden you and give you vision. May you find the power to do what Paul so simply encouraged us to do…
Reject what is evil.
Cling to what is good.